Tara and her husband Brett

This week I had the privilege of being a guest blogger for a wonderful blog called Together Beautiful. I am calling this blog my sister blog (since I grew up with these ladies.) Please check out what they are doing. Here is my blog post for their site. I hope you enjoy.

I want to thank the lovely ladies of “Together Beautiful” for asking me to share with all of you a topic that is very dear to my heart. I am passionate about helping people have healthy internal thoughts about themselves. Let’s get deep and talk about two annoying players (Anxiety and Depression) that contribute to why we struggle with low self-esteem.

Lets define:

Anxiety: A state of concern. This feeling can cause psychological feelings like worry, fear, dread, uncertainty with in you. You may also experience physiological characteristics like rapid pulse, sweaty hands, tight chest, difficulty breathing, even diarrhea.

Depression:  A state of low mood. People who are depressed tend to feel sad, empty, hopeless, not worthy, not want to do normal activities, and have negative thoughts.

Self-esteem: The overall thought of your own self-worth. What do you think about you?

I am not a psychiatrist or counselor, but I believe that anxiety and depression go hand in hand in diminishing people’s self-esteem. When we feel anxious its hard to stay objective and use logic with our negative self talk. (Example: I feel like everyone is looking at me and thinks I’m ugly. I feel so fat in this outfit, everyone can see my hideous fat. I shouldn’t have just said that, everyone thinks I’m foolish.) In a depressed state, it is near impossible to think highly of ourselves. (Example: I am not worth their love, no one could ever love me. My life is never going to change! What is the point of this?) Most of us have times in our lives of anxiety or depression. For some of us it’s a daily battle. I want to give you some helpful tools for dealing with these feelings, to help you find balance in your life, and to increase your self-esteem.

I tend to believe most anxieties or depressed states are symptoms of something deeper going on inside you. The key to healthy self-esteem is to determine what is causing your negative feelings (anxieties/depression) and work them out.

Tips that will improve self-esteem and decrease anxiety and depression:

1. Write out your negative feelings. Make a list of them.
2. Be honest with yourself. There is no need to sugar coat your feelings its just you and God.
3. This next tip is personal to me. I ask God to do surgery on my thoughts by praying about them. I ask him to heal the broken pieces inside me. He does good “surgical work” and never makes mistakes.
4. Re-visit positive past experiences you worked through. Remember how things turned out. Chances are things turned out ok.
5. Get counseling. Sometimes having an outside professional walk you through your toughest anxieties or depressed moods can bring clarity. Counselors bring years of knowledge and are trained to see beyond what we get stuck on.
6. Eat regularly. Nothing brings more anxiety, low self-esteem, or low mood than having low blood sugar. (As your nurse, I recommend 3 balanced meals a day and 2 snacks.) Eat, then re-group. You will have a better outlook.
7. Avoid stimulants like caffeine. If you are anxious why would you want to amp yourself up more?
8. Exercise regularly. I can’t tell you how powerful hitting the pavement, or lifting at the gym is at shaping healthy moods and self-esteem.