I think everyone on this planet struggles with some self-esteem issues one way or another. Some issues are deeply rooted from childhood lies being told you are not good enough, or from growing up in an unstable home. A disapproving parent, grandparent, or trusted loved one not seeing you for the special gift God created you to be. Other issues develop in our pre-teen and teen years by mean classmates that bullied you. Girls or boys may have been ruthless to you for not being cool enough, trendy enough, thin enough, or were jealous and lashed out at you. Being bullied may have thicken your outside skin causing you to be more tough when you face the world. However it’s hard to turn off your inner most insecurities.  Deep down it is not easy shrugging off those internal thoughts of, “What if they are right? What if I am what they are calling me?”

I have found from my daily care of patients, to my own family people need to know that they are “worth it.” I want to share with you 8 tips on how to increase your own self-esteem and to let you know that you matter to me, to God, and to the world.

1. My first tip is personal to me and my beliefs. I turn to the word of God, The Bible, and read what God says about me. This combats the negative lies that are trying to fill me. 

• How precious are your thoughts about me, O God. (Psalms 139:17)
• You should be known for the beauty that comes from within, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is so precious to God. (1 Peter 3:4)
• Your sins have been washed away, and you have been set apart for God. (1 Corinthians 6:11)

2. Challenge your beliefs about yourself. Listen to what you are telling yourself and use logic against it. 

(When you think “no one likes me or wants to be my friend.” Challenge the credibility of that thought by listing all the people you know that love you deeply. Its ok if that list is small, you are still deeply loved by someone.)

one of my BFs Nicole, and moment I felt really loved watching a hockey game together

3. Tell yourself to “stop!” when you say or think negative things about you.

(There are times I get so down on my self about being an emotional person. But that is something that is core and central to who I am, and who God made me. I can’t change it, so I need to embrace it and be proud.)

4. Think about things you are really good at or uniquely good at.

(I like to think about hair styling…It is a skill I am uniquely good at.)

photo credit: Jane Johnson, my cousin's wedding

5. Compliment yourself. Even if it’s for a silly thing like un-tieing a hard knot, or how a pair of shoes makes you look. 

photo credit: Brett Arnold, model: Mollie Henkelman's feet

6. Don’t reject positive things you have done in your life by discounting them however small they may seem.

(For example, getting a raise or promotion and shrugging it off saying “I didn’t really do anything to deserve this they would have given it to me anyway.” Be proud of all accomplishments.)

7. Stop comparing yourself to others.

(oh man this is a hard one…hello Facebook/Pinterest world of amazing pics of people trips, families, weddings, lives. Be proud of your life and know that people always put their best-self foreword on social sites. You have no idea what they are going through in real life. A pic is worth a thousand words and some words may not be good ones. This may need to be its own blog post!)

8. Forgive yourself.

(This is my personal hardest tip on the list. I am learning to forgive myself for not being perfect, saying the wrong things in conversations, and for telling myself I am acting foolish. When I forgive myself, I feel relived that I am ok with just being me.)

Me happy about being me

Learning to have positive healthy self-esteem is a life long journey. It’s never to late to forgive yourself and start fresh. Review these tips daily if you need to. Live life feeling good about your self knowing that you are perfectly, wonderfully, and beautifully made.

In health,

Tara Arnold, RN